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May’s Parenting Tip: Why Children Need Boundaries

Apr 27, 2023

As a parent of young children, do you find yourself wondering why you even set boundaries when all your children seem to do is test them and try to break the boundaries you set?

According to Beverly Anderson, Executive Director of Ebenezer Child Care Centers with locations in downtown Milwaukee, Oak Creek and West Allis/Wauwatosa, “Children need boundaries and rules, so they can learn how to be responsible and succeed in life.”

So why is it so important to set boundaries?

Children Thrive on Predictability
Anderson says children need parental rules such as you can’t go outside alone and routines such as a regular bed time, because predictability reduces uncertainty and anxiety their lives.

“Children thrive when they know what is expected of them and their lives have a sense of order,” states Anderson. “Children intuitively look to adults to help guide their behaviors and make them feel more competent and in control. They need to have adults explain limits regarding what is and isn’t acceptable, so they grow to be responsible adults.”

Boundaries Prepare Children for School and the Real World
Anderson also points out that having rules and boundaries at home is important, because it prepares children for what will be expected of them at school.

“Classroom rules outline what behaviors are acceptable in a school setting as well as the consequences for unacceptable behaviors. If children don’t learn about rules before heading to school, they are going to struggle with this concept and succeeding in a learning environment.”

Anderson adds that children also need boundaries and guidelines set for them, because it teaches them important social skills.

“Being taught to say, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ will go a long way in helping your children be better accepted in school and society. It will also teach them how to effectively get what they want.”

Boundaries Keep Children Safe
Finally, and probably most importantly, setting boundaries, rules, and limits helps keep children safe. If children think it is acceptable to do anything, they risk putting themselves and others in danger.

Anderson says, “Children need to be taught that they must hold an adult’s hand when crossing the street, and that it isn’t acceptable to take things from others without asking, as well as many other important rules and behaviors. If they don’t learn these things at an early age, there are certain to be problems for them as they get older.”

Anderson adds, “As children become adults, the consequences for not following rules becomes much greater, including losing your license and going to prison. It’s better for children to learn from their mistakes when they are young, and for them to understand at an early age, the importance of following the boundaries that their parents and society sets for them.”

Ebenezer Child Care Centers is a not-for-profit, locally based agency committed to providing early childhood programs from the heart. The agency prides itself on being different from other child care providers in that it offers a home-like atmosphere; individualized, nurturing care; and a structured curriculum that is virtues-based for every child’s developmental stage.

Ebenezer Child Care Centers is a not-for-profit, locally based agency committed to providing early childhood programs from the heart. The agency prides itself on being different from other child care providers in that it offers a home-like atmosphere; individualized, nurturing care; and a structured curriculum that is virtues-based for every child’s developmental stage.

Every Ebenezer Child Care Center focuses on all aspects of a child’s development: cognitive, physical, emotional, and social. In addition to providing quality care, the agency also offers other educational programming all aimed at helping parents.

The agency has locations in downtown Milwaukee, Oak Creek, and West Allis/Wauwatosa. The agency’s main office is located at 1138 S. 108th St., West Allis.